Never Fall In Love With A Bar Girl
Actually it is much easier said than done. Hundreds of Western men fall in love with Bar Girls every year. An exotic location, a beer too many and a beautiful friendly woman. All the ingredients are there. “Take a bite from this apple” said Eve. For some it is a holiday romance but others a more permament arrangement….even marriage.
For many though what at first appears to be a happy loving relationship often ends in tragedy. I don’t suppose there are accurate records of the ‘accidental deaths’ or suicides caused by broken hearts or financial ruin but any long term resident of Pattaya in Thailand will have stories to tell you if you will listen.
The majority of Thai Bar Girls come from Isaan province in North Eastern Thailand. Practically all of them are rice farmers daughters. They are amongst the poorest of all Thais
As soon as they can walk they have paddy mud between their toes. As soon as they can walk they are catching food for the family meal. As soon as they can count they are counting Baht. These girls learn to cook on their grandmothers knees. Bar girls are reared by their grandmothers. They learn to weave, to make, to do. Producing a meal for fourteen is as easy as making one for four. Practicality is their second name.
As the rice planting and cutting seasons arrive in Isaan so does its daughters, the sisters, the cousins, the mothers, the aunts, bar girls all. Beautiful girls with long shiny raven hair, long painted nails. They bring gifts, treats and money. Then they too work in the fields planting or cutting for 14 hours a day, drinking, laughing at night and then days later as the job is done they steal away in the night.
There are spirits in the rice fields, in the trees, the houses and the water. Being Animist Buddhists the spirit world is not seperable from the real one. Religion, fact and fable are one and the same and rule life and death. Ghosts are all too real and during the night whole families sleep together like sardines or ‘pic up stix’.
The family ties are stronger than any Mafia clan. The family is all. The family is everything. Family is life. Family is dawn to dusk 365 days of the year.
When you fall in love
It is ‘when’ not ‘if’ you fall in love with a Thai Bar Girl. When you do you must bury your Western ‘norms’ and way of thinking. The moment you commit yourself to her you have committed yourself to her family too. She is her family. She is often the main provider. You must now provide.
Of course she loves you but she loves your money too. Love and money are one, indivisible like her family. Many Western men set ground rules and without realising it set themselves up at the same time. If her family are shoved to one side then as sure as night is day you will be too…eventually…when you have no more to give. There is more truth in the joke ‘T’ shirt slogan “No Money, No Honey” than most people realise.
Every man who is in love with a Bar Girl will declare “but she is different”, and she is of course. They are all different. Beautiful girls. Beautiful girls trying to survive, to support, to improve. Love is blind no matter
Image credit: https://pixabay.com/de/bangkok-thailand-stadt-städtischen-2300620/